Caught
by barsonaddict
Summary: Realistically, he knew he'd probably get caught. He didn't think it would end up like this.


Rafael Barba was enjoying a rare uneventful day, and had been planning on wrapping up his paperwork in the next few minutes, looking forward to relaxing with a glass of scotch and Netflix. Preferably on his girlfriend's couch, so he could add some snuggling into the mix.

With the arrival of said girlfriend, however, it looks as if his evening plans are out the window.

She's stormed into his office, not bothering to knock. It's late, she knows he doesn't have any meetings scheduled.

He just keeps his eyes on his paperwork, calmly asking her what's up.

"What's up? What's up?! What the fuck do you think is up?"

Okay, so she's pissed. He finally looks up at her, and almost shrinks into his seat, unconsciously trying to become a smaller target for her wrath.

He's mentally going through everything he has ever done, but comes up empty for anything that would have her reacting like this.

"Liv- I really don't know what's going on. Help me out, here."

She scoffs at him. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

It's the waver in her voice that makes him rush around his desk, still desperate to figure out what he did, but needing to comfort her first.

She's having exactly none of it.

When he reaches for her, she brushes his hands away, turning her back to him- seemingly unable to look at him any longer.

"Liv, please... I ...I don't know what's going on." His voice is quiet, and a little shaky as well. "Find out about what?"

He knows the saying about lawyers never asking a question they don't know the answer to, but he's starting to panic. He reaches out to touch her shoulder but she flinches and twirls around to glare at him.

He can't remember the last time he saw her this upset that didn't involve Noah's wellbeing.

She's holding back- barely keeping a reign on her emotions, right hand itching to slap him on his stupid, lying, cheating face.

She can barely get the word out, and if he weren't totally focused on her he's sure he wouldn't have heard the whispered, "Rollins."

He deflates, stomach dropping to his knees. How the hell did she find out? He thought since she hadn't brought it up in the weeks since the trial that she hadn't put it together.

"Liv, I'm so sorry. I never should have disrespected you like that. I just-"

She cuts him off, disgusted. "Are you fucking kidding me? I didn't actually believe it, but you're not going to deny it?"

She drops into one of the chairs in front of his desk and leans forward, putting her head in her hands; desperately trying to hold in the sobs threatening to break free.

Tears flow unchecked down her cheeks, ruining her makeup. When she looks up at him, he sees the light is gone from her eyes, and it feels like a dagger in his heart that he has caused her so much pain.

"When were you going to tell me? Either one of you! I had to hear it from fucking Carisi of all people. Do you know what that felt like?"

At his shocked silence she just gets angrier. "Fine. If you don't have anything to say for yourself I guess we can just officially end it now. I'll have someone drop off your stuff here tomorrow. I'd appreciate it if you don't drag things out with Noah- a clean break will be best."

And with that she heads for the door, much more subdued than her previous trip across the office.

"What?!" He is utterly flabbergasted. While he knows they shouldn't have gone behind her back, he never thought he could lose her over this. Never in a million years did he think this could happen, or he never would have done it in the first place.

"Liv- no! You can't do this! You can't throw away what we have over this- I was just trying to-"

"I don't want to hear it! I trusted you. I can't- I can't even look at you anymore. I hope that night was worth it."

And with that, she's gone.

In less than five minutes his entire life, personal and professional, has gone down the drain. He drops into the chair his girlfriend just vacated, unconsciously mirroring her posture- tears and all.

But the more he thinks about it- the less sense it makes. What the hell kind of story had Carisi told? Even though Rafael knows he overstepped and broke her trust, him telling Rollins to go around Liv to question Yates is not something she should be this worked up about.

He expected her ire weeks ago, to be honest. He was expecting her to yell, remind him what their roles are, and that they are on the same team, they don't go behind each other's backs-but not this. This was severing all ties outside the office, and if she has any say in it (which to be honest, she does) their professional relationship is on borrowed time as well.

It's late when he steps off the elevator in the precinct, half of him hoping she's in her office, the other half wanting to get more information before groveling at her feet for her forgiveness.

That half is relieved when he arrives in the squad room and sees her office dark.

The rest of the squad room is dim, only one uniform passing through and the sound of voices coming from the new break room.

Rafael heads in that direction, noting the SVU detectives' desk lamps are on, increasing his chances of finding an informant nearby.

As he approaches the brightly lit break room he hears Fin's voice, "Ok man. I gotchu down for sex, date, weight, and name. I just need your baby daddy prediction." There's a pause, and Rafael realizes he is on the phone.

"No way, man, that's just gross. She like my baby sister."

Pause.

"Fuck you, Munch."

Another pause.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. You gotta drop off the cash this week or you're out."

Fin drops his phone on the table and mumbles something under his breath.

He is alone in the break room, but there is a large board covering one wall detailing the information of Rollins' Baby Betting Pool.

As Fin stands to add Munch's predictions, he notices Barba in the doorway.

"Counselor," he nods. "What up, man?"

As Fin fills in the information, Rafael notices something odd in the Baby Daddy column. His own name is featured a shocking number of times, accompanied by everyone from Fin (he's wincing as he writes his own name) and Carisi (he never got that vibe between them to be honest), to pretty much every male Amanda has probably spoken with in the past year.

Despite (or perhaps because of) her constant proclamations that it's "not Nick's", Amaro's name is definitely up there the most.

"Wow." Rafael is impressed. They have clearly had some free time.

"Yeah," Fin smirks. "'Manda might not be placing bets on this, but she knows how to run a betting pool." Fin sounds a little too impressed with this particular skill set of his partner's, but Rafael doesn't have the energy to focus on that right now.

But seeing the frequency of his name in the potential baby daddy column, things are starting to fall into place in his mind.

"Did Liv happen to see this tonight by any chance?"

Fin looks over at him, registering the ADA's somber mood for the first time.

"Don't think so. You know how she gets with this stuff. If she don't see it, she can't report it..." Fin smirks. "She's been avoidin' in here for about a week now, I think somebody tipped her off. Maybe Carisi. He thinks she wants to know all the gossip around here so he keeps her updated when they go on calls together."

Rafael nods, but stays silent.

"Everythin' alright, Barba?" Fin questions. "Looks like ya lost ya best friend."

Rafael holds in a shudder at the words. "I hope not."

Fin considers him for a moment then nods. "Ya won't- just don't give up 'til she listens to ya."

Rafael is surprised for about half a second, then sighs. "Well, at least I know why she's so mad at me," he indicates the board. "Do this many people actually think I fathered Rollins' child? We don't even call each other by our first names!"

"That's a good cover," Fin laughs. "Nah, man. Ya know how secretive she is, though. No one knows for sure so you're as good a guess as any. Plus, it's just for fun. I don't actually think the baby is gonna weigh twelve pounds, but it's funny to see Manda's reactions."

Fin turns back to the board. "You want in on this? I'll let you in for only half buy in..." He trails off as he hears the elevator ping in the distance and shrugs as he realizes Barba is gone. "Guess not."

By the time he reaches her apartment, Rafael has a speech prepared. He checks his watch and considers putting this off until tomorrow (well, later today) but can't stand the thought of Liv hurting over this for any longer than necessary. He also knows that she won't be sleeping, and if he can get upstairs without having to buzz up for her to unlock the security door, it's likely he won't wake Noah.

He's also not completely confident that she would actually buzz him into the building, Noah's sleeping aside.

He only has to wait about five minutes before someone else arrives and he goes in with them. It's a younger couple from the floor above Liv and Noah's- they recognize him so he doesn't have to explain himself.

It feels as though he reaches her door in half a second, and without wasting any time he softly knocks.

He hears shuffling inside; a pause, and then a muffled, "Please, go away, Rafael."

"Liv, please let me in. I need to explain- it's not what you think. Please." He's begging and pleading but he doesn't care- he just wants to make this right.

It's silent for a few minutes, and just as Rafael gives up and decides he'll try again tomorrow he hears her turn the locks and then open the door.

She has clearly been crying, but at the sight of her wearing one of his dress shirts, a tiny bit of hope blossoms in his chest.

"May I?" He indicates the inside of the apartment and she turns back to the couch, kicking random toys out of the way and muttering under her breath.

The speech he prepared has gone out of his mind, and he can't seem to get anything to come out of his mouth.

Olivia has situated herself in the far corner of the couch, pulling a throw pillow onto her lap and clutching it to her stomach.

When he hasn't said anything for a few minutes she starts to get annoyed.

"I thought you wanted to explain."

He looks at her, trying to figure out how to begin.

"Yeah. Um- earlier, in my office. I don't think we were on the same page."

She blanches, and is immediately furious. "So it was more than once? How long has this been going on?"

"No! Liv- it's not what you think. "

This makes her laugh, cruelly. "I've heard that before. You know what-"

"Olivia." He cuts her off, forcefully. "Please, just let me get this out." She nods stiffly, just wanting to get this over with so she can cry herself to sleep in the privacy of her own bedroom.

"There is nothing going on between me and Amanda Rollins." He pauses, wanting to be crystal clear. "There never has been, and there never will be."

He waits a moment, and when it is clear she isn't going to say anything he continues. "I am not the father of her baby, despite what apparently a large number of your precinct thinks. "

She looks up at this and he clarifies, "I went there looking for you and ran into Fin in the break room. The betting pool has really outdone itself this time." He allows a small smirk, and when she doesn't throw the pillow at him he starts to relax a little.

"I don't know who Rollins has been seeing, and quite frankly the only reason I'd even care is to prove to you it's not me. I'm not attracted to her, and I don't want anything more than friendship with her. I need you to believe that. Even if we weren't-" he pauses, not quite sure how to label their relationship even after all these months- "even if I wasn't in love with you, I wouldn't want to be with her."

She is quiet for a moment, allowing his words to sink in.

"But then why didn't you say this earlier? You said, you said you were sorry and that you didn't mean to disrespect me. You admitted it! I saw the look on your face, the guilt in your eyes..." She trails off and a few more tears make their way down her cheeks.

He sighs, and explains how during the Rudnick debacle, after Rita Calhoun left his office he was panicking and called Rollins- asking her to visit Yates again, alone, and when Amanda declined, saying Liv wouldn't allow it that it was his idea to do it anyway, and to keep it secret.

"I already knew about that."

His eyes snap to hers, questioning.

"Do you really think I don't know what my detectives are up to? At least on the clock? I knew that day, I'd been monitoring Yates' visitor logs."

"So why didn't you say anything?"

"Well, honestly I wasn't surprised, and I think Amanda learned her lesson after Yates 'smelled' her pregnancy." Rafael looks confused but doesn't push it. "At the very least don't you think I would have put it together when Rita brought it up on cross?"

Rafael looks appropriately ashamed. "I was hoping you wouldn't, but I should have known when you didn't question it."

Looking down, he asks quietly, "Do you really think that of me? That I would throw everything away for a fling with someone else?"

Liv reaches out and touches his knee, waiting until he meets her eyes to say, "No. I was mad when I got to your office, but I didn't actually believe what Carisi said. I thought you would tell me I was ridiculous and we'd laugh about it and then we'd have sex on your couch...again..." she smirks as he blushes, both remembering that night.

"But then you looked so guilty when I mentioned her name, and I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I'm sorry- I should have heard you out."

Rafael moves closer, and gently removes the pillow from her grasp. Then he slowly pulls her to him, and buries his face in her hair, murmuring apologies and declarations of love in her ear.

She climbs into his lap, pushing him back into the cushion and straddling him; stroking his hair and looking directly into his eyes.

"I love you." She leans in and places a sweet kiss on his lips, then snuggles into him, tucking her face into his neck, arms wrapped around his torso.

He squeezes her and kisses the top of her head. "I love you, too. So much."

They both are so relieved to have the other so close, and after the emotional evening are both drained. A few minutes later they have fallen asleep, and when they wake, it is to the feeling of little fingers poking their faces and sunlight streaming into the apartment.

They had shifted sometime in the night, now horizontal on the couch but still tangled together.

"Mama? Raf?"

"Good morning, Baby."

"Hola, Noah." Rafael reaches out his free arm and scoops the boy onto the couch with them. Noah is happy to comply, and snuggles right in, chattering away about the pancakes he has decided they need to have for breakfast.

"My couch is bigger, you know. " Rafael says quietly, allowing Noah's monologue about pancakes to go on.

"Mmhmm," Liv agrees, just as quietly. "But all Noah's stuff is here- it's just easier than lugging everything back and forth."

"Well, what if we just take it over once and be done with it?"

Liv slowly raises her head, a smile blooming. "If we move in together, we'll have to disclose." Her smile has morphed into a smirk, certain she has called his bluff.

"I think we're ready." She just looks at him, contemplating. "It will be nice having everyone know you're taken," he finishes with his own smirk.

"You just want to get your name off the Baby Daddy Pool," she accuses lightly.

As he answers, he strokes one hand up her back and the other hugs Noah closer to him. "That's just one of the many, many bonuses, mi amor."


End file.
